We pledge allegiance to the Kingdom of Atturgraad, scion of Saint Athaenjya and her descendants, one great nation under our almighty Lord Jehuveshah, with liberty, justice, and fraternity for all.
-Atturgraad Pledge of Allegiance
1
The next morning, Prince Holfjeof and Princess Raenoiya were seeing off Jaani, outfitted in his royal Atturgraad outfit for his homecoming that would hopefully transpire before the day ended.
Jeof hugged his older brother and stated, “Farewell, Jaani! I wish you well in dealing with that vile prime minister when you return home! And our mother as well since I am sure she would not care for your new choice of consort.”
“I thank thee, Jeof. A pleasure we could reconcile.”
“Think nothing of it! All of us are spraint-headed in some way or another!”
“Bye, Jaani,” bid Raenoiya.
“To thee as well, my sister-in-law. I shall hopefully meet thee again when my niece or nephew is born.”
“They shall be lucky to have an uncle as you.”
“Ye have a wonderful day, everyone!” Jaani then told Ren, “I wish to stop in Hertfyyrd before we return to Atturgraad. Maddy wisheth me to update his younger brother on how he fareth.”
“A’m ettlin tae stop there masel for the, weel, ‘heiven’ in the caipital!”
“The... what, now?”
“A brethel, laddie!”
“A brothel, thou sayest? Thou art free to do as thou willst, Sir Ren. I shall have no part in that, well, delinquent business.”
“I should say so!” agreed Jinnah.
“Heh, it’s yer ain loss!”
“A loss we shall certainly not regret!”
“I think we should retreat into the palace, dear,” Jeof suggested.
“Yes, I think that would be for the best,” agreed Raenoiya, with the couple leaving the travelers by themselves.
“Let’s awa, laddies!” proclaimed Ren, everyone entering the carriage, the reindeer lashing his roach and driving into the streets of Norvulpes.
2
They departed the city, the first town they encountered afterwards being Vomanhyym, its population mostly female.
Next came Otterbureaux, whose main inhabitants were otters and donkeys, some of them being hybrids, with Jaani recalling having some distant relatives from here.
Toddfjord followed, its population primarily foxes, that quickly came and went.
Another otter town, Rouge Launtra, came, Jaani remembering that some of his relatives hailed from here as well, albeit more distantly, with many of them, per the town’s name, having reddish features.
Noiyenmarkt followed, a mercantile town whose main business was business, and merchants actively peddled their wares to customers of various species.
Haukenill, a community of hawks and their respective hybrids, alongside other avians, came afterward, with most having elevated abodes, perfect in case floods came.
3
The carriage entered the kingdom of Hertfyyrd and reached its dusty capital, with Jaani seeing many residents who could possibly be thieves.
The prince shouted, “Ren, take us to the ‘heaven’ thou hadst spoken of earlier!”
“Aye, will dae, laddie!”
At this time, Jaani could hear a punch and a thug’s voice say, “Take this, ya little muvverfucker!”
“Please, I’ll getcha yer money, guv — honest!” begged a younger voice.
“Ren, stop!” Jaani urged, and the reindeer obliged. The otter Kyymaer got out of the carriage and shouted upon seeing gazing into the nearby alley where the commotion occurred and asked, “What transpireth here?”
Jaani saw a group of thugs harassing a young bear whose looks seemed familiar.
One of the deviants asked, “Wot the fuckin’ ’Ekh d’you want?”
“Release him!”
“An’ why the bleedin’ fuck should we?”
“Because I command ye to!”
“Ooh, Prince Charmin’ finks we’re gonna let this li’le faggot go, does ’e?”
“What maketh him a bundle of sticks, now?”
“A bundle o’… wot, eh? You off yer nut or somethin’?”
“Wherefore do ye hassle him?”
“Gamblin’ debts, mate.”
“Be this true, young cub?” Jaani asked the victimized bear.
“Oi, don’t call me that! An’ yeah, that’s ’ow it is, awright?”
“Hast thou a name?”
“Why the fuck should I tell ya, eh? ’Ow d’I know you ain’t gonna pulverize me an’ all, too?”
“I am on thy side, I assure thee.”
“Why the bleedin’ ’Ekh should I expect some random geezer to stick up for me, eh?”
“Methinks my outfit saith it all,” Jaani assured, winking at the bear. “Jaani is my name.”
“Ourza, tha’s wot they call me, guv’nor.”
Jaani raised his eyebrows. “Thy brother... release him!”
“Not till we’ve proper beaten them gamblin’ debts outta ’im, we ain’t!”
“How much oweth he ye? Perhaps I can cover it all.”
“We ain’t stickin’ no price on wot ’e owes us! We’d rather proper kick the shit outta ’im, we would!”
“Care for me to do the same to ye as well?”
“Nah — but we’d love to do the same to you an’ all, ya posh royal bastard!”
The thugs released Ourza and attacked Jaani, although he grabbed their fits with his hands and fended them off.
“A think ye could dae wi a wee bit backin, laddie!” Ren stated, charging the thugs.
“I think that would be for the best, Sir Ren!”
“An’ who the fuck’s this old bastard from way up north, eh? Them balls under yer kilt’d be well ripe for a good kick, they would!”
“Weel, A’d gey gladly kick yer nethers in return, laddies!” countered Ren as he began charging the thugs.
Jaani drew his sword, but at this time, the thugs began to flee as the reindeer charged them, and he stopped.
“We’ll get ya next time, Ourza, we will — just you wait!” one of the thugs shouted back.
“Be thou okay?” Jaani asked as he got the bear on his feet.
“Nah, not really… but why the bleedin’ fuck would you help poor li’l old me, eh?”
“Thy older brother up in Skwirlsha..”
Ourza raised his eyes. “Maddy alright, is he?”
“He is well. I also know thou art of the Baertaanjyus... augh!”
Ourza had seized Jaani’s throat, squeezing it. “Wot the bleedin’ fuck d’you fink you know about me bloodline, eh?”
Ren tore Ourza away from Jaani, holding him up.
“My apologies,” bid the prince. “On that we can remain silent.”
“Yeah, tha’d be for the best, innit.” Ren put down Ourza. “Anyway, me mum’d be well chuffed to ’ave you lot round for lunch.”
“I thought thou wast an orphan...”
“Adoptive mum, you daft fool.”
“I am no fool and am of noble blood as thou art. As one of thy saviors, as well I believe that thou shouldst show me some respect.”
“Awright then, Sir Jaani, mate.”
“Hmph. To thy home, then. Thou canst lead the way.”
4
Jaani and Ren took Ourza to the carriage, with the bear sitting by the reindeer as he continued through the city. Ourza’s home was a few Kylomytren away, with the carriage and roach stabled and the ursine leading everyone to the front door.
Ourza opened it and said, “Oi, Mum! I’m ’ome!”
“Ah — I am coming, yes!” Jaani could hear a Frankgallian accented voice reply.
Then came to the doorway a beautiful skunkette breastfeeding her babe, blonde and blue-eyed, who greeted, “Bonjour, mes amis!”
“Um... bonjour to thee... as well...” Jaani stammered, nauseous at her odor, a combination of perfume and her natural scent resemblant of rancid Kapfeyh; he could see his companions back away as well.
“These blokes saved me from them thugs wot wanna ’ave me ’ead, Mum, they did!” noted Ourza as he took the skunk baby.
The mother skunk gazed lustfully at Jaani, her loose top garments revealing her bosoms, and he suddenly found himself in her embrace as she thanked, “Merci, merci, merci beaucoup!”
Then she repeatedly kissed Jaani on his lips and elsewhere on his face, nauseating him further to the point where he turned away and retched, falling unconscious from the skunkette’s stink.
5
Jaani slowly awoke, seeing that he was in a quaint chamber with a bed and nightstand, dimly lit by a candle on the latter. The otter Kyymaer saw that he was wearing white rags, assuming perhaps that the skunkette had ruined his royal garbs. However, this bothered him not, as he still had spare scout uniforms he could wear on his homecoming, and duplicates of his regal outfit back home.
A knock came at the door, and Jaani invited, “Enter.”
The knocker did so, revealing himself to be Ourza. “You awright, guv?”
“I am well, but... how canst thou live with someone like her? How didst thou wind up with that fair skunk maiden?”
“Yeah, that’s one o’ the challenges o’ livin’ wiv a skunk, innit. Lucky me, Ma Sçuneaux built me a separate place ’ere so ’er an’ me sis’s stink don’t bother me. She bathes in tomato paste to dull it down, but she gets proper worked up when she’s ’appy an’ wotnot, she does.”
“Sçuneaux... that name soundeth familiar. Be her husband a chef?”
“’Ow’d you know that, then, guv?”
“I met a Chef Sçuneaux up in Asyyrgraad.”
“Oh? Tha’s ’im, then. Proper fine chef, ’e is. Lucky for us lot ’e don’t go usin’ ’is natural musk on the grub.”
“He seemed fairly hygienic when I met him, mercifully.”
“That’s one o’ the challenges o’ bein’ a skunk, ain’t it. Natural stink makes ya a proper outcast — pretty much me whole bleedin’ life, that is.”
“But how didst thou wind up with thy adoptive mother?”
“Long story, guv. Me mum, me dad, me brother an’ me were up in Skwirlsha when some bleedin’ vagabonds robbed us blind an’ left Mum an’ Dad dead. Maddy went off an’ turned sailor, an’ the Sçuneauxs took me in like I was one o’ theirs. We moved down ’ere, Da became an airship chef, an’ little Moufettia was born a few months after. I love ’er like she’s me own flesh an’ blood, I do. They’re good family — proper good family.”
KNOCK, KNOCK.
“Oi — ’ello?”
“Jaani?” Jinnah’s voice asked.
“Jinnah?”
“Ja.”
“What is it?”
“Lunch.”
“Enter!”
Jinnah entered, bringing a tray of food that she gave Jaani, who bid, “I thank thee, love.”
“Ja, don’t mention it,” she replied, kissing him. “Mrs. Sçuneaux made it.”
“I see that she would rather not give it to me herself, given her, well, natural scent.”
“Indeed. Everyvone else got deir meals de same vay.”
“Be they here?”
“Ja, dere are oder rooms in dis compound.”
“Proper nice ’avin’ a whole bit o’ the place to yourself, ain’t it?”
“I vould tink you vould get lonely in dat case, vouldn’t you, Ourza?”
““’Ekh, nah! I got loads o’ mates — blokes an’ ladies — up the Hertfyyrd Heaven keepin’ me company, I ’ave!”
“Dost thou work there?”
“Yeah, an’ I gamble an’ all, as you probably guessed.”
“Take caution in that, young cub, lest thou runnest into more trouble. Shouldst thou encounter it, I assure thee that thou art under my care, and that thou canst write me, shouldst thou need any assistance.”
“Fanks… Yer ’Ighness.”
Surprisingly, Ourza hugged Jaani, who returned the gesture.
“I tink it best dat ve leave,” suggested Jinnah.
“I agreed,” concurred Jaani.
6
At the stables, Ren got his roach and carriage situated, bringing everything outside, with Mrs. Sçuneaux, holding her baby, and Ourza waving their farewells.
Through the streets of the capital they traveled, leaving to the west, with the road curving southward.
The carriage soon reached the boundary of Atturgraad, where the border guardsmen naturally halted their progress, with everyone getting out and showing their passports.
“Your Highness?” one of the soldiers asked, bowing along with his colleagues. “Any friends of His HIghness are friends of Atturgraad! You all may pass!”
Everyone got back into the carriage, Ren driving his vehicle south into Jaani’s homeland. The scenery seemed mostly as it did before he had left, albeit with a blanket of snow, autumn having come and gone. Atturgraad was the most populous and urbanized nation in Anagumayra, with little land in between its various cities, the vehicle ultimately reaching the capital of Lontradinium.
Lontradinium was a beautiful city, depending upon where one looked, with great buildings, beautiful and with unique architecture, although there were many homeless citizens due in part to mismanagement by previous lord mayors that had presided over the city in the past, but there were a few occasional good ones that truly cared.
The carriage eventually reached Atturgraad Palace, which was under tight security, and the palace guards naturally blocked their entry, with everyone in the vehicle getting out.
“Greetings! Welcome to Atturgraad Pal--er, Your Highness! Welcome home! It’s been ages!”
“A month or two, actually.”
“I stand corrected! And we see that you’ve brought guests! We’ll still need to verify who they are before we grant them entry, though!”
“Ye are most welcome to. I would give ye my word, but ‘tis better to be safe than sorry.”
Everyone’s identity was verified, and around the same time, an ostler came and asked Ren, “May I take your carriage, good sir?”
“Gey gladly, laddie! Tak them nou!”
The ostler did so, and the guard said, “Ye all are free to enter!”
“Home at last,” stated Jaani as he and his companions advanced into the palace grounds.
7
The frontal palace grounds appeared different in wintertime, with the bushes iced over and the flowers invisible, the trees leafless and only showing their branches. The palace yardmen had kept the walkways clear, with a few nobles and top government bureaucrats wandering about, few paying heed to the prince. He minded not as his Asyyrjugent uniform was not his usual attire, and he led his companions forward.
The guards at the entrance into the palace proper, however, recognized him and opened the doors to allow the party inside, the prince happy to behold the grand interior, with the vast entrance hall illuminated by a massive chandelier. Many of the nobles and bureaucrats waved at Jaani, and he returned their greetings.
The party ascended the grand central staircase to the giant doors leading into the throne room, with one of the guardsmen recognizing the prince, greeting, “Welcome home, Your Highness! His Majesty the king expecteth you!”
The sentinels opened the doors into the throne room, where the party advanced to the throne in which Jaani’s aged father, King Holtjaan, sat, a gray-furred otter with donkey ears like he, blue eyes, a white beard and mustache, and a tufted tail. Next to him stood Queen Djerryldin, puffing on a Tsikgaar apathetically, as if she didn’t care for her son’s return. Nearby as well was Jaani’s former fiance, Lady Lynancieta, who appeared as she did last time he met her. Also close was the meerkat who had been Jaani’s rival, Kaiapfas BenMerwick, outfitted in traditional Djudaean clothing, with curled black hair. Before the king, everyone bowed.
“Rise, everyone. So, we welcome your return, prince.”
“Thank you, lord father.”
“Something seemeth different about thee, as we can see from thy speech. Be something amiss?”
“Naught of the sort, milord.”
“Is her, yes?” the queen suggested with her Kaulilanun dialect as she eyed Jinnah. “It’s her, eh?”
“Lady mother, she is an acquaintance of mine I met in Asyyrgraad.”
Jaani updated those gathered about his travels, omitting critical details.
“Quite traveled thou art, son,” the king suggested.
“Traveled, eh?” Lyn repeated, approaching Jaani and and Jinnah. “And who is this, eh? This… how you say… woman you bring back from the north, eh?”
“I sincerely apologize to thee, Lady Lyn, but she is my new choice of consort. ‘Twas not meant to be between us, I am sorry to say.”
“WHAT?! You know very well I am to be your bride, you son of a cow!”
The queen angrily puffed her Tsikgaar. “Jaani, what you saying now?”
“I no longer wish to wed Lady Lyn. Our feelings are unrequited, and I have far stronger ones for Lady Jinnah.”
“You little motherfucker!” screamed the queen as she approached Jaani and slapped him.
“Jerry!” the king gasped. “For the love of Jehu! Restrain thyself! He is our son!”
“In blood only! He should be disowned for not obeying our choosing for his consort!”
“He is free to choose his own bride.”
The queen snorted smoke through her nostrils.
“Ah, milord, I’d have to agree with the queen, nu,” the prime minister said in his effeminate voice, flashing a sneer at Jaani. “She’s speaking with much more seykhl—much more wisdom—than His Majesty ever managed, if you ask me.”
“Shut thyself up, Kaiapfas,” Jaani told him.
“Ah-ah—it’s Mr. Prime Minister now, prince, nu! Show a little respect already!”
“I can speak to thee however I choose. We were once friends, and I am of the royal family, whereas thou art but of inferior stock from Felistyyn.”
“Listen here, Your Highness—the royal family, they’re not above the law, nu. Don’t forget that. And Parliament, they can order it so any member of your whole dynasty—yes, even a prince—could be executed, if they commit high crimes. Remember that, before you get any big ideas, eh?”
“Let he who sinneth not cast the first stone.”
“Me? I’m not of Your Majesty’s—how you say—tainted Asyyr faith, nu. That business, it’s not mine at all.”
“I mock thy precious faith as well, thou avaricious putz! Forget not that my father is king, and Jehu above him!”
“Nu, what are you saying already? We both have the same God, you know!”
“But for me, the Zanktkoenig Vohtaanus is my king of kings.”
“Feh! That diseased ram—He’s got no power here in Atturgraad, you hear? None at all!”
“At least I have friends from His kingdom who stand with me!”
“Oy, enough already with this pointless back-and-forth, nu! Let’s talk the facts. You went right against your mother’s wishes—brought back that Asyyr shiksa and betrothed yourself to her instead of Lady Lynancieta. Tell me, is that how a prince behaves?”
“EXCUSE ME?” Jinnah sneered, approaching the prime minister, balling a fist in front of him. “Is dat how you talk to a voman?”
“Oy, listen to this one! I’ll talk to whoever I want, however the Hekh I please, you understand? I’ve got a wife and a son myself, nu—and them I treat with the highest respect and honor they deserve, believe me!”
“Leave Lady Jinnah alone, Kaipafas, or thou shalt pay the price!” warned Jaani.
“Again already, Your Highness—what should I tell you? You’re not above the law, nu!”
“Si, I agree, eh! What is the matter with you, huh?”
“Our courtship is over! I have no feelings for thee. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that thou canst seek.”
Lyn growled. “Ma come you dare, eh?! You pile of shit!”
To Jaani’s surprise, she grabbed and hugged him, attempting to kiss him on his muzzle.
In a more dignified, less accented voice, she said, “Let me work my Jeopsith Ma’ajyyk on you...”
“Wait...” Jaani tried to break free from Lyn’s grasp and felt a strange sensation about him. “Release me at once!”
“Otsmerelda would love to have a passionate dance with you once more, and relive the good time we had together...”
“By Jehu...” Jaani recalled his encounter with the Jeopsith en route to Asyyrgraad and tried again to push Lyn away. “Release me, Jeopsith whore!”
“You speak like that about a noblewoman, eh?” the queen yelled.
“Jerry, dear, please!”
King Holtjaan was shoved away by the queen, the royal guards helping him to his feet and trying to restrain the cow.
“Guards!” commanded Jaani. “Please remove Lady Otsmerelda--I mean, Lynancieta, from this palace at once!”
“That would be my command, son,” corrected the king, “but indeed, I concur!”
“Yes, liege!”
The guards approached Lyn, although they were suddenly forced away as if through Ma’ajyyk.
“What transpireth?” the king wondered.
“Methinks, lord father, that Lady Lyn is an Aesfyyrin!”
“The Aesfyyren, here, in Atturgraad! Blasphemy!”
“Si, si, and in that case I would be the one committing the blasphemy, eh!” Lyn then approached Jinnah, asking, “Ah, bene… what we have here, eh? A fine little maiden from Asyyrgraad, no? And I see, eh… there is a little bambino already in that womb of yours…”
The entire throne room save Jinnah gasped.
“Son!” the king shouted. “Didst thou impregnate this fair woman?”
Jaani shed a tear and answered, “I... proved my love towards her. I apologize, lord father. I know the Asyyrkirk would surely have my head for that, and perhaps excommunicate me...augh!”
The prince suddenly felt his throat strangled by the queen. “You little… eh!”
“Jerry! Release him at once!”
The royal guards approached and restrained her to liberate Jaani, the prince breathing easier.
Lyn caressed Jinnah’s belly, taunting, “Ah, so there is a little bambino in there, eh? Or maybe a bambina, no? Or… how you say… maybe only a little clump of the cells, eh?”
“No! Please, let me be!”
Lyn began to reach beneath Jinnah’s dress, with Jaani warning, “Leave my fiance be!”
Jaani ran to his love, but felt himself forced backward.
“Eh, you stay out of this, Jaani, capisce?”
“Why are ye doing naught?” the king asked the guards.
“Lady Jinnah? Feh—she’s not even of Atturgraad, nu!” Kaiapfas shouted. “She’s a foreigner, an invader, trying already to turn over our whole government!”
“She entered here legally!” Jaani retorted.
“Yes, yes—but who is she, really, nu?”
“A noblewoman of Asyyrgraad!” Bill insisted.
“Who art thou, now?” the king asked, although after a pause, he continued, “Ah, indeed. Guards, save Lady Jinnah!”
“Her?” the prime minister said. “She’s not under the protection of this kingdom, nu! Not at all! Lady Lyn—she’s the one under the kingdom’s protection, you understand!”
“Well, then I revoke her protection!”
“Oy, Your Majesty, it was Parliament that granted her that protection, nu!”
“Well, then I insist they revoke that protection!”
“Over my dead body already would I let Parliament revoke her protection, nu! You hear what I’m telling you?”
“Guards! Seize her!”
“Yes, Your Majesty!”
The guards approached the two maidens but suddenly found themselves forced away.
“I kill you for this, eh, you whore!”
“I am no whore!” screamed Jinnah as Lyn fondled her beneath her dress.
Lyn caressed her womb, taunting, “Allora… let us see, eh, what we can do about this little clump of cells living inside you, no?”
“No! No! Please, for de love of Jehu!”
“Eh, Jehu will not help you now, capisce!” Lyn continued as she pinned Jinnah on her back and reached her fingers to her nether regions. “Now we see, eh, what we can do about the little—how you call it—unborn baby inside you!”
“Stop it!”
Lyn then shoved her hand into Jinnah, making the ewe scream in agony, the otter withdrawing her hand, now dripping with white blood.
“Ah… let us see, eh, what we have here…”
Jaani could see in her palm a small white indiscernible mass that squiggled around, with Lyn gazing maliciously at it and squeezing it, white blood running from the bottom of her fist and staining the throne room carpet.
“Noooooo!” screamed Jinnah, blood running from her nethers.
“Guards! Take her to the infirmary at once!” the king commanded.
“Yes, majesty!”
Soldiers took the ovine away, with Jaani facing Lyn and yelling, “How couldst thou do that do her? What is thy problem, devil woman? How canst thou be so cruel?”
“Bah! Not cruel enough, you son of a cow!” responded Lyn as she began gathering an electric force in her bloodied hand.
WHACK. She fell to the floor, with the energy in her hand dissipating.
“Hey, Lady Lynancypelosia, you fucking bitch, how dare you kill Lady Jenny’s baby like that!”
“Ma chi sei, eh? In the name of the Hekhsynkyzer, who are you, huh?”
“The name’s Monty... oh!”
He found himself entangled with Lyn in physical combat for a few minutes, but was ultimately knocked aside, his parents taking his place and having better luck, restraining her, with Jaani approaching.
“Our courtship is over, Lady Lyn! Thou hast defiled my beloved Jinnah, and thou shalt pay the ultimate price!”
Jaani slapped her, which made his mother say, “How you dare! I choose her special for you, son!”
“Jerry, please!” the king begged.
“You stay out from this!”
The queen pushed her husband aside and began to approach her son, but the guards restrained her.
Jaani told Lyn, “Thou witch! Thou shouldst burn at the stake!”
“Per favore, Jaani! I am sorry, eh—so sorry! I am really, really sorry!”
Jaani paused for a few seconds, after which he drew his dagger and stabbed Lyn in her heart, the prince surprised she didn’t scream. Afterward, Bill and Shirley released her, and she fell to the floor, her brown blood staining the carpet.
“Apology accepted, thou whore.”
The queen lowed angrily, the guards continuing to restrain her, then taking her away. The king approached his son and embraced him.
“Art thou okay, my son?”
“Yes, lord father.”
“Oy, I’m not okay with this, you hear?” the prime minister insisted. “Not at all! For this treachery, Your Highness, we’ll have your head, nu—don’t think we won’t! Parliament, they’ll impeach you, and the Senate, they’ll put you on trial! If you’re convicted—oy vey—your name, it’ll be wiped clean from the history books, your brother becomes the new crown prince, and everybody, they’ll curse your name, you mark my words!”
Jaani harrumphed and responded, “If!”
8
The prince approached a guard and commanded, “Take me to Lady Jinnah! I wish to see if she shall recover!”
“Yes, Your Highness!”
The sentinel led the prince through the palace corridors into the infirmary where doctors tended to his fiance, who bleated painfully.
“Jinnah, my beloved! Art thou okay?”
“You can plainly see dat I am not!”
“Doctor! What is her condition?”
“She’s lost a lot of blood, but we’ve managed to stop the flow. It’ll take time for her to make a full recovery. That bitch really did a number on her womb, so it’s up in the air as to whether she’ll ever be able to become pregnant again.”
“I and hopefully everyone else shall pray for her full recovery,” Jaani assured as he caressed Jinnah and kissed her on the cheek, after which came a slight quake through the palace.